weddingsv make me drug and hornr
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
