Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
