discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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