I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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