Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
