I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
