I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
