Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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