Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
