we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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