Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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