Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize