You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
