honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
