you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
