it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
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