if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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