this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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