So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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