she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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