she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
