yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
A bitchslap is in order.
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