i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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