The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
