Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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