WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
