gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize