no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
