Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
