Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
