dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
