I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
