and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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