Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
