..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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