Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
