this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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