What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
