just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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