and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
