he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
