I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
