Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
