did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
