Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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