she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
