that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
All I want is dick and wine.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
