I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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