i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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