Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
