The maid of honor just puked.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
