I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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