We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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