i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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