HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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