I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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