Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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