But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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